Conversations with Cemetery Research Expert Joy Neighbors: Insights and Perspectives

Do you find genealogy research at cemeteries exhilarating? Finding family burial plots, studying old stones with intricate carvings and taking in the tranquil landscape are just a few things to enjoy while discovering old records stored at the office?

Joy Neighbors’ The Family Tree Cemetery Field Guide serves as an introduction to different types of cemeteries and can help you locate burial sites for ancestors as well as understand tombstone symbols and discover cemetery records you were unaware existed.

Gain insights into Joy’s interest in cemeteries during this interview.

What was it that inspired you to become a tombstone tourist? Joy: It all started with a picnic. My date (who eventually became my husband) took me to a cemetery with an amazing spread of delicious food and wine in tow, where we spread out blankets near a lake for conversation about our lives, thoughts about life and death, art interests, etc. Before long I completely forgot where I was sitting; instead just enjoying an enjoyable outdoor evening together!

Two years later, we got married and ever since then we’ve been visiting cemeteries together.

At least 25 years later, I decided to write A Grave Interest and share this lost history and art.

Decoding Grave Symbols with Joy Neighbors: Episode 142

What cemeteries have you visited? Joy: I’ve visited everything from large urban cemeteries to cemeteries located right along a highway. Brian (my husband) always keeps an eye out for cemeteries when we travel and if one catches his eye while we’re driving down a highway we detour and visit it – every cemetery offers something different; each visit may offer unexpected treasures!

Just saying I have visited thousands of cemeteries, yet am always on the hunt for new ones to explore.

My sisters and I would hold our breath when driving past cemeteries as children, because some unknown superstition is associated with these spaces. Have any of you come across any strange cemetery superstitions?
Joy: As a child, I was warned not to count funeral procession cars for fear that my funeral procession would become the next one in line. Being one who counts everything – steps, train cars and clouds alike – it was difficult not to count funeral cars either!

There are numerous superstitions regarding death and burial that I have come across. Here are just a few I have come across:

Never look upon a funeral procession with disdain, as doing so could bring bad luck. And raindrops falling into an open grave is often seen as portending bad omen for its owner’s family. Flowers and grass flourish on graves of people who lived virtuous lives while only weeds or mud will cover those deemed guilty of wrongdoing.
Do not whistle in graveyards as this summons Satan.
Never take anything from cemeteries; their dead may follow you to try and claim their stuff back from you. If thunder sounds after an interment ceremony, this signifies that their loved one has reached Heaven.
Joy: Deciding upon my favorite cemetery can be challenging, but if forced to choose, my top large choice would have to be Cave Hill in Louisville, Ky. With amazing artwork and history galore as well as modern touches like monuments, sculpture and stained glass it is undeniably haunted (I even have stories from visits!)

Highland Lawn Cemetery in Terre Haute, Indiana and Oak Hill Cemetery in Evansville, Indiana are my two top choices for medium sized cemeteries in Indiana. Highland Lawn has beautiful symbols engraved onto its stones and mausoleums; most of Terre Haute’s historical figures are interred there (it may even be haunted!). Oak Hill features plenty of tree stones (my personal favorite!) along with rolling vistas with giant oak trees – plus has one of the best Civil War burial grounds designs I’ve seen!

Small cemeteries are so intimate, and I enjoy reading the stones to learn about those buried there and try to imagine what life was like during their time on this earth.